Change...

I know that change is good.  We stretch and grow but that growth doesn't occur without growing pains. Often times it is fear that makes change so difficult for me.  Moving into the unknown.  Then there is the grief of losing what you once knew.

Kylee is almost 5 years old.  In the fall she will start school and I am grappling with all the change that it will mean for us.  I am grieving the fact that my baby girl isn't a baby.  I am grieving the fact that she won't be home with me all day every day.  I have to share her.  Yet, I rejoice in all that she is experiencing as a big girl.  I am excited for all that she will be experiencing as she starts school.  The other day in the car I told her Nanny that I was thinking of taking the kids to the P-O-O-L.  Kylee who is in the back seat said to Jude, "Jude! Mommy is thinking of taking us to the pool!" Really? I can't spell things out anymore? And yet I was filled with such joy and pride with her new abilities.  She just never ceases to amaze me.

Change.  I admit I don't want things to stay the same way forever.  Each new phase with her as been wonderful...some more challenging than others, but she is my first born. My baby girl.  And I just feel like it is all going by me too quickly.  I am so overwhelmed with gratefulness that the Lord blessed me with such an amazing, beautiful daughter.