School, School, School

It is so hard to believe that Kylee started 2nd grade this year! Her first grade teacher looped so my girl walked into class, kicked off her shoes and huddled by the pencil sharpener comparing wiggly teeth with her friends.  There was no apprehension. She was excited to be back and ready for all the school year had to offer! What a joy for this Mama.  I love that she enjoys school. I love the fact that she has a wonderful teacher and she is excited to spend her days at school!

This girl has great adventures ahead and we are so privileged to watch it all unfold.  

We have a kindergartner! Oh how I miss him. I remember this feeling:  The ache of leaving them.  For the first time not knowing everything that their day is made up of. Conversations, smiles, bumps and bruises. Now, someone else is teaching him, comforting him. Witnessing his wonder as he learns something new.  The fact is, I am a mama who loves being with her children and I still can't figure out why someone thought 5 was a good age for kids to start school. Though the separation is hard, for me, more than him, I am excited for all that is in store for him.  We are lucky to have an absolutely fabulous teacher and I know it will be a great year for my boy!

Stop and smell the flowers

Do you ever sit and just take it all in?  Do you stop and look around and watch life unfolding?

I have these amazing children and some times I stop for a second and a wave of emotion hits me, maybe knocks me around a little bit and I hold my breath and I think that if I could just stop time I would.  But then I really can't hold my breath for all that long so I get back on my feet and tell myself that each moment counts. Each and every single moment counts.

Maybe my house is on the messy side.  There is always laundry to be washed and folded or put away.  The sink is constantly full of dishes.  My floors need swept and mopped daily.  I have little finger prints on just about every surface you can think of.

Though I value being on time I am late to just about everything.

Some times my kids wear mismatched outfits and right now Jude is sporting a mow hawk. I have been known to leave the house without shoes for Az or a coat for one or the other. Don't look too closely or you might see some smudges of lunch left over on a little cheek or some dirt under their fingernails.

My life is crazy, messy and unpredictable.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Every single day I get to wake up and love on my kiddos is such a gift.  I will cherish all the snuggles, kisses and laughter and the messes that go with it all.

Before I know it that house will be entirely too clean.

Don't forget to stop and smell the flowers...life is just too precious to miss them.

Jude turns 5!

Our precious boy turned 5!  Can I share just a little bit with you about this little love of mine?  He is AWESOME.  I couldn't adequately express all the joy that he brings to our life.  He is full of life and laughter.  He has taught me so much about myself it is ridiculous.  A few words I would use to describe him are: Athletic, Brave, Courageous, ok, I won't go through the entire alphabet but I would like to add a few more. Kind, Loving, and Sensitive.  I could keep going but you get the idea. He is such a cool little man!
It is hard to believe he will start kindergarten in the fall.  This saddens me to no end.  I can't imagine him being away from me all day Monday through Friday.  (providing full day kindergarten is available) This, my friends, is such a loss to me. He, however, is very excited! Even greater than that for my boy, is that he gets to play baseball this year.  I am pretty sure he has waited his WHOLE life for this.  I am pretty excited myself!
As a Mama I really wish there was a button somewhere that I could push to slow it all down.  I am amazed at the accelerated pace of life once you have children.  We blink and a year has passed.  Since there is no such button to be pushed I will simply let each and every piece of his childhood fill my heart where I will keep it always. There is not a day that goes by that I don't count Jude one of my greatest blessings of life.    

Happy Birthday Azariah

He is ONE! What a year we have had with our sweet boy.  It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the years pass when it is filled with with such amazing awesomeness as a baby in the house! Azariah was born October 20, 2010 weighing 8 lbs 1 oz.  A tiny little bundled that slept and ate and slept and ate.  He was a baby that loved to be snuggled, didn't mind the noise or the probing fingers of his big sister and brother. He grew quickly...packing on the pounds adding chins and rolls that melted his mama's heart.  His little dimples ARE so adorable.  With a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his face he has studied the world around him starting with the faces and voices of those who love him so dearly then that fist attached to his arm that was somehow just always there.  Slowly he began to study things a little further beyond that fist. What a joy it is to watch a little one take it all in.  Rolling to crawling, everything going in his mouth. Cooing, laughing and words.  Standing to climbing and in to everything.  Teething, teething, teething!   He has been a busy little guy!
He loves to make us laugh and I feel so blessed for all this year has meant.  Getting to know him. Holding him. Kissing him. Playing with him. Teaching him. Reading to him. Feeding him. Bathing him. Loving him. Happy Birthday Azariah Joseph!

Adoption Is The New Pregnant

Or at least it is for us.  We are pregnant with hope and dreams of the little girl that will join our family some time in the next couple of years.  Maybe not in the traditional sense but pregnant all the same. Kyle and I have always known we would like to adopt some day. Adoption. Nearly two years ago our hearts were stirred, well mine was, to the point of wondering if it was time to start the process.  Then we learned we were pregnant with Azariah and decided that pregnancy hormones and the emotions of such a process were not something we wanted to mix so I put this dream from my mind yet again and focused on the awesome craziness that was our life at the time....but this dream remained closer to the surface of my heart than it had ever been before. So much so that not long after Az was born I told Kyle that I felt it was time to open the door to this journey.  Research began.  I began praying in earnest that God would guide and direct my heart.  That He would align Kyle and I...I couldn't very well start down this road without him. Then we were both praying about what God was calling us to. We were ready. Come what may.

It is all very overwhelming. Which agency do we work with? International it is...but which country? Ethiopia? How much does it cost?! What age are we looking to adopt...baby? older child? Male? Female? A special needs child?  It will take how long for a referral?  Our hearts have been stirred and the process has begun... a very long process.  There are moments when this wait seems unbearably long and yet we are content with where we are at, knowing that God has a plan bigger than our own. 

I recall sitting at my computer looking at pictures of children who are waiting for homes.  Kylee approached from behind and asked who the kids were.  I shared with her that the children we were looking at lived in a place called an orphanage and that orphanages were for children who didn't have Mamas or Daddies to take care of them.  Her eyes shone with compassion and she turned to me and said, "They can come live with us Mommy.  You and Daddy can be there Mommy and Daddy." My heart soared at her response.  

God has turned our hearts toward Ethiopia.  The beautiful country that it is with the rich culture and heritage has taken root in my heart.  My heart breaks for the millions of children who are orphans.  For the millions who are living on the streets with no adult to care for them or love them. Passages like James 1:27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to the led the world corrupt you  have become so incredibly real for us. Our eyes have been opened. Our hearts are forever changed and this my friends is just the beginning for us.

When you get pregnant you don't get to pick...you don't go through the drive through and order a perfectly healthy girl with a side of no issues. To choose a child, well this part of the process was very difficult.  To know baby girls are more likely to be adopted than baby boys, many don't want to adopt an older child or one who has a misshaped head or a missing limb...what about the child with medical needs that won't get adopted?  How do you say no I am not willing to love that child? I still don't have the answer to that.  When we began researching Adoption agencies and programs it was all so overwhelming but in time we began to see a clearer picture of the road we are taking.  Our little girl will come from Ethiopia.  She may not even be born yet and we love her all the same.  Much like that moment you begin dreaming of getting pregnant or when you find out that you are.  Something takes over.  A passion for getting your home and hearts ready for a new little person to fill up the spaces that seem to be waiting for them.
There are days (with many ahead) where the longing and heartache I feel are so heavy.  In Matthew 11:28 its says 'Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.' The truth is, heartache is what happens when you open your eyes to the realities that others are facing. Millions of others.  Millions.   I believe that God will meet us where we are at.
We will spend our time waiting for her to come home praying for her and her family, learning about Ethiopia and preparing our home for the much awaited day when we carry her across the threshold to her Forever Family.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him 
Psalm 37:5
Isn't it exciting?!

1st Grade

I might be a bit behind but then we are just getting into the swing of the new school year! It has been adjustment from the laid back summer we enjoyed.
We did come to realize just how much Kylee thrives on the structure and routine in a classroom.  She LOVES school and her thirst and hunger to learn is awesome!  She doesn't, however, like to get up early and get ready for the day with any kind of speed.  She is an absolute turtle in the morning...scratch that we have friends who have a turtle that is faster than she is in the morning.  She has an awesome teacher again this year and we are excited about what this year will bring for our sweet girl!

Found her cubbie

 Getting to work

Precious friends

 such a gift

Love these three

He orchestrated it all...just in time.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
A week ago today we rushed Azariah to the Emergency room.  
It was as if God was parting the Red Sea so we could reach the safety of the other side.  As we pulled into the parking lot I began to unbuckle Az from his car seat. As Kyle was rolling to a stop in the nearest parking spot I jumped out and ran inside.  A sign greeted me telling me to WAIT HERE.  Waiting was not something I wanted to do.  Kyle passed the growing line behind me, sure that I had cut in front of them all and was quickly at my side and we were called forward. Our WAIT was no more than a minute.  And no I didn't cut...like I said God was parting the Sea.  We gave the woman at the computer our information.  Our paperwork listed Azariah as having a minor allergic reaction (minor? really?) and we were given a bracelet and a pager and sent to the WAITING area where 15 to 20 others sat waiting as well.  Sit I could not...pace I did.  It was at this moment that I looked at my amazing husband and saw the fear in his eyes.  I had to look away lest that same fear that I had been beating down for the last 35 minutes would completely swallow me whole.  Our baby boy, who had been battling hives from an unknown virus all week had taken a turn for the worse.  The unkown was excruciating.  He had a large lump on the side of his head and his hives that were covering his body were angry and swollen.  His eye lids were red and swelling.  Something was terribly wrong.  "LORD please help him. hold him." A nurse walked out of triage and introduced herself to us and looked Azzy over and informed us that we would be next.  Only a couple of minutes had passed since we had walked into the waiting room.  She walked away, passed through the curtain and then turned around and called for us.  We were telling the triage nurse our story....hives for a week, been to the doctor, tested for HSP, test was negative, virus, getting better last night, seemed a little better this morning, 45 minutes ago the lump on his head started. Did he hit his head? No.  A nurse wandered into the triage area as they were trying to get his oxygen levels the monitor wasn't working the nurse commented that he was pink and seemed to be breathing ok...but wow how strange! whats the lump?  He said he would bump the patient he was going to put in bed 20 and take us.  They would get his oxygen there.  We walked into the room and the ER doctor followed us in.  Again we began telling our story but he interrupted, "Has his lip been swollen?" We all responded no...the nurse leaned over to take a look at Az and told the Doctor that the lip in fact was not swollen as we walked from triage to bed 20.  Suddenly there was a flurry of activity. Orders were being given. Shot of epi. IV in now.  Where's the epi? We lost the vein. Call Nancy. Epi in.  
My baby.  His lip was so incredibly swollen. It looked almost translucent and as if it was about to burst. He was being held down and poked with needles. His thigh was already bruising where they had given him the shot of epinephrine. He was screaming his eyes searching for me, begging for me to help him. I was helpless.  "LORD please. Give him comfort.  This medicine needs to work.  Help his tiny little body.  Help Nancy get the IV in Father.  Please."  They finally got the IV in his foot. 
FINALLY I was able to hold my baby and try and calm him. I can't describe it.  God did it.  He helped Azariah.  The timing, the promptness and skill of the doctors and nurses.  It was all GOD.  Some might say coincidence.  But I know he answered our prayers. Maybe even your prayers.  I am so thankful. 
We know life is fragile. We know everything can change in an instant.  When we were staring that stark reality in the face everything in me fought against it.  This precious boy has so much life to live.  I will never stop fighting for that but in that moment, in my utter helplessness, I was keenly aware that God is in control. In that instant I was never more thankful.  He orchestrated it all...just in time.
We still don't know if the anaphylactic reaction was a result of the virus or if he was exposed to something in the environment.  We will be seeing a specialist in order to find out what we can.  We are now armed with an EpiPen jr. should he have another situation arise. Lord willing, we will find some answers and we won't ever need to use the EpiPen.
If you were praying for us in the midst of this traumatic situation, or have been since, thank you.  We are so grateful for those prayers that have been uttered on Azariah's behalf. The outpouring of love. Those who laid hands on our sweet boy and asked for healing. Those who visited us in the hopsital. Care provided for Kylee and Jude. Other "details of life stuff" that were taken care of for us. Meals. Messages of love and encouragement. May God return that blessing to you in mighty ways.
The meaning of Azariah is God helps.  We knew that the day he was born. We were reminded of that this week. It has been seared into our hearts. Thank you God. We are joyful in the hope we have in Jesus.  I am not sure how patient I have felt in our time of affliction but I will be faithful in prayer as Romans instructs.