Azariah Joseph

As I sit and gaze at this little wonder that is my youngest son I am in such awe.  It has been such an incredible journey to get him here.  His birth day, 10-20-2010, was one of the most beautifully breathtaking days I have known.  We went to the Birth House at around 10:30 and we enjoyed taking a walk under a heavenly blue sky in the warm sunshine surrounded by beautiful fall colors.  My labor picked up and active labor started around 5:45 and shortly thereafter, at 6:29 p.m. Azariah Joseph was born.  We were blessed to have my good friend Lynne with us and our wonderful midwife, Constance was incredible! As was Stacy, the midwife in training, who had journeyed with us for the last couple months of our pregnancy.  The most amazing person on this unbelievable day was my husband.  Kyle was incredible.  We laughed that he was more like a coat rack because during contractions I would literally hang on him.  I am still not sure how I got so lucky...I married the most WONDERFUL man on the face of this earth!  I really did have a great team surrounding me and it really made the experience that much sweeter.  Our labor and delivery was smooth and without complication.  We were able to do a water birth and though the water didn't provide relief like I thought it would (which might have something to do with the intensity of the short time frame of active labor) I am glad we did it.
Finding a name proved to be more challenging than we anticipated it to be.  Azariah is a biblical name that I first came across while doing a study on Daniel in the bible.  Two days before Azariah was born Kyle was on a website looking for naming inspiration.  He left that page open on the computer screen and the next day I saw Azariah on that list. I mentioned the name to Kyle but Kyle didn't think much of the name at the time.  That evening (the day before Azariah was born) we had an appointment with our midwife and on the drive up to Olympia I mentioned the name again.  Kyle said it was kind of growing on him...and we discussed other names but still no idea at this point what we would name our precious babe.  That night as we lay in bed Kyle asked our little guy what he thought his name should be.  He gave him three choices.  The first name, Elijah.  Azariah was completely still.  The second name, Maddox.  Azariah was completely still.  The third name, Azariah.  Our little guy responded with some vigorous  movements.  Hmmm.  Asked him a second time, "You like Azariah? Is that your name?" Again the little one kicked, kicked, kicked.  I thought to myself...I think he likes it!  Kyle and I didn't talk much about it at that point.  I don't remember talking about the name again until about a half an hour or so after he was born when Kyle told me that three times already he had wanted to call him Azariah.  FINALLY! Our baby boy had a name! Azariah Joseph Fletcher!
Many of the pictures you see in the slide show were taken by my good friend, Lynne. We were blessed to have her with us...every step of the way. From the very beginning in trying to get pregnant to the moment Azariah took his very first breath. It means so very much to me that she was with us and able to experience the most precious of moments in this journey.  (Not to mention the fact that she was able to capture some AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL memories with her camera!)
In the days that have followed I have fallen more and more in love with this precious baby boy God has blessed us with and the life that He has given me. There is ever more meaning to Praise God from whom all blessings flow...I will be praising God all my life long for these beautiful gifts.

The Corn Maze

 Rain, Rain, Rain! What a blast! Kids day at the Rutledge Corn Maze included a fire truck, a police car, a Children's Hands on Museum booth, grilled corn on the cob and of course trekking through the corn maze. It was a ton of fun!

Another day closer...

It is so strange to me that is October 13.  To think our due date is just a mere 2 days away.  A day we have been anticipating for oh so long.  This pregnancy has been my hardest by far and yet I don't wish it to be over just yet.  I love the feeling of him moving around inside of me...to know that he has everything he needs and he is content and happy right where he is.  Knowing this is likely my last pregnancy makes it all the more difficult and yet I am so excited for all that is to come.  To see his sweet face.  To call him by name.  To watch his Daddy, his sister, and his big brother fall in love with him as I have- not to mention our extended family and friends.  I know God has big plans for our boy and I am thankful that He is entrusting him to our care as those plans unfold.  What a blessing it is to be a mother.

Kindergarten!!

Good morning sunshine!

Lord bless you and keep you Kylee

So excited!

Ready to go!

I can't believe how quickly the years have gone! My baby girl...my first born- is now in kindergarten!  I am filled with such an array of emotions.  Sadness, that the years are going so quickly. Excitement, for all that is ahead of her.  Joy, for the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eye.  The reigning emotion, today, is Anticipation, for all that God is doing in her and through her.  We set out from the very start to prepare Kylee to be a confident, independent, self-assured individual that will impact the lives of others by her very presence...the love of Christ shining through her.  We are continually giving our precious daughter over to the Lord knowing He loves her even more (amazingly) than we do and that He holds her in his hands and has a plan for her life.  So when I walked away from my girl that first day of school and left her in that classroom I had some real warring emotions...knowing that I need to trust God and wanting to take care of her myself I was gripped with the reality that life will never be the same.  God gently took my hand and walked me out of that building all the while whispering to me the truth of his love for her which spoke of his amazing love for me.  Each day I am reminded of this truth as I drop her off and walk down that hall- Just as He is holding my hand walking me down my path, He is holding her hand and walking her down the path He has laid out for her.

Kylee,

²⁴ ‘May the Lord bless you
      and protect you.
   ²⁵ May the Lord smile on you
      and be gracious to you.
   ²⁶ May the Lord show you his favor
      and give you his peace.’

Love you sweet girl!

Mama

A trip to Portland on the train

The morning we headed out I wondered what exactly we had gotten ourselves into...going to Portland 34 weeks pregnant on the train with no car or even a map in hand.  It was an awesome trip!  Kylee and Jude loved every second of our adventure as did Kyle and I.  Ok I admit by about 4 p.m. the second day I was getting a bit crabby but I managed to snapped out of it and enjoyed it to the very last moment.  Portland is a beautiful city.  However, I am convinced it was more the company I was keeping that made the trip so incredible!  

In line for our train tickets

Ready for some quality time with Daddy

Kylee & Mama

Waiting for the Max

Cozy bed at The Benson

Waiting in line for doughnuts (over an hour)

The doughnuts were YUMMY!

heading back to the train station

sleepy boy

All tuckered out

Locks of Love

Miss Kylee decided that she wanted to donate her hair to Locks of Love so we cut off 10 inches of her beautiful long blonde hair tonight!  She looks adorable with her new hairdo and we are so proud of her for wanting to help other children.  She is a compassionate little girl and we are consistently amazed at the depths of her understanding and feelings.

Fletcher Family Summer 2010

I look at this picture and think WOW! God is so good! It is hard to believe how far we have come in such a few short years!  Kylee just turned 5 and is about to start kindergarten. Jude is 3 and  a half and like his sister so full of life and awe and wonder at all that is around him.  We have a little one on the way that is due to arrive in October.  Kyle taught for 3 years, spent last year doing  an internship and becoming Dean of Students at Chehalis Middle School and this year was hired as the Assistant Principal.  I am the lucky wife and mother of these precious ones that gets to walk through all this wonderfulness with them!  Needless to say there are trials....things aren't always perfect but really we are so incredibly blessed and I am reminded that we have much to give.  Kyle preached this past Sunday and God used him to give a powerful message of the call to love God and love our neighbors.  There are people all around us that need love and support. They need to be cared for, they need help with the most basic needs and we don't want to miss the opportunities to serve those in need.  Our children have such a clear picture of this...they are so black and white in this way.  They don't get bogged down by what is convenient or what the best way would be.  They simply see a man or woman standing on the side of the road asking for money or food and they say, "Mama, he needs help. We should help him."  So maybe money gets tight but the reality is we have more than we need.  We have so much we can do without.  So my prayer is that God would open my eyes to all that I can be doing to love my neighbor!

In order to survive...

The plan was to pack in as much FUN stuff as possible while Kyle was in El Salvador- mission accomplished!  The last 9 days have been a blast and know we are all anxiously awaiting the arrival of Daddy!  I was a bit worried...I am not cut out to be a single mom but really it went well.  God provided everything we needed just at the right time.  The hardest part of all was simply missing the most amazing man I know.  We haven't been apart for this long since the day we got married and I have to say I am not really all that excited to do it again. EVER.  The inability to call him was really one of the most difficult parts!  But alas he will be home in less than 24 hours and we are all looking forward to seeing the pictures and hearing the stories.  It won't be half bad to just set eyes on him really, let alone some snuggle time!  For Jude some no shirt wrestling is in order and well, Kylee, is probably just waiting to talk his ear off!

Some of the fun from the last few days....

74 days and counting

It is hard to believe that Kylee is 5 and Jude is 3.5 and it 74 +/- days we will add a new little Fletcher to the mix!  When I think back to the Labor and delivery of Kylee and Jude I get more anxious for the arrival of this little one.  I have such sweet memories of both previous births.  They were quite different and this one will prove to be just as equally different!  This time around I have chosen a midwife to walk this beautiful path with us, Around the Circle Midwifery is in Olympia and both midwives in the practice are amazing!  They have a Birthing Inn where I can deliver or I can deliver at home.  I have also decided I would love to do a water birth.  Since my labor is relatively short- 6.5 hours with Kylee and just under 2 hours with Jude my goal is to be where ever I have chosen to be and in a birthing tub by the time this little guy makes his entrance.  Prayers would be appreciated to that end.  
As my belly expands and my shirts and pants shrink I can't help but marvel at the growth of this sweet one.  He should be around 3 lbs and 15 inches long right now.  In so many ways this pregnancy has stretched on and on and yet when I think about all his growth it is hard to believe we are this far along.  It is such an amazing miracle.  At 28 weeks I measured 31 weeks- which to be honest was a little overwhelming.  I am hoping we slow down a bit over the next 4 weeks to make up for that growth!  I expect that I will be bigger with him than I was with either Kylee or Jude.  Our last ultrasound predicted he should be about 8 lbs.  I wonder if an ultrasound now would give the same prediction?  Kylee was 7 lb 4 oz and Jude was 8 lb 11 oz. I think it would be great if this one was somewhere in between.
It has been such a joy to share this pregnancy with Kylee and Jude.  Their excitement and awe- their questions have all been such a gift, such a incredible blessing to me.  Jude who asks questions like, "Mama when you take a shower does the baby get wet too?" Or the look on Kylee's face when she felt the baby move for the first time- she was so amazed and he had the hiccups which was just so awesome for her to feel.  She couldn't get over it.  She saw him move before she felt him and again that look on her face...it was a reflection of the same awe I feel when I think about this little miracle growing inside me.

God is good...all the time

The look says it all...

Oh how I love this boy! The look on his face simply sums it up...it is the I am 3 and a half and that is that look. What amazes me is his ability to turn this attitude on and off in a matter of seconds.  The catch being it has to be his idea to turn it off-

He is like his mama in more ways than one!  

I have been thinking about my attitude...I have been told by many near and dear to me that whatever I am thinking is written all over my face.  I just can't hide it...anger, hurt, frustration, fear, excitement, adoration it is all right there for every one to see the moment the emotions bubble up in me.  ugh. I wish it weren't so. I wish more than anything that I didn't waste a single precious moment being angry or frustrated.  I wish that I could once and for all overcome the struggles with fear that I have been having. To sum it up I am longing to live more fully with Christ.  To be overwhelmingly filled with his love and hope so that the face that people see is one that radiates His goodness and beauty rather than my own failure and shortcomings.

My hearts desire is that my precious children would grow to know that there mama's face always reflects recognition of God's goodness.

Change...

I know that change is good.  We stretch and grow but that growth doesn't occur without growing pains. Often times it is fear that makes change so difficult for me.  Moving into the unknown.  Then there is the grief of losing what you once knew.

Kylee is almost 5 years old.  In the fall she will start school and I am grappling with all the change that it will mean for us.  I am grieving the fact that my baby girl isn't a baby.  I am grieving the fact that she won't be home with me all day every day.  I have to share her.  Yet, I rejoice in all that she is experiencing as a big girl.  I am excited for all that she will be experiencing as she starts school.  The other day in the car I told her Nanny that I was thinking of taking the kids to the P-O-O-L.  Kylee who is in the back seat said to Jude, "Jude! Mommy is thinking of taking us to the pool!" Really? I can't spell things out anymore? And yet I was filled with such joy and pride with her new abilities.  She just never ceases to amaze me.

Change.  I admit I don't want things to stay the same way forever.  Each new phase with her as been wonderful...some more challenging than others, but she is my first born. My baby girl.  And I just feel like it is all going by me too quickly.  I am so overwhelmed with gratefulness that the Lord blessed me with such an amazing, beautiful daughter.

To find out...

Deciding to find out what the gender of this sweet little one growing inside of me proved to be difficult for this mama.  In the words of a very wise woman, "it's kind of like peaking at your presents before Christmas."  With both Kylee and Jude we didn't find out until the day they were born and I LOVED that moment.  It was all wrapped up in the incredible moment of holding them in my arms for the first time and truly, those are two of the sweetest moments of my life.  Aside from realizing God loves me and kissing my husband for the first time as Mrs. Tara Fletcher, I have known nothing sweeter, nothing more incredible on this earth.
I know the moment this precious boy is placed into my arms it will be added to that list of the sweetest moments in my life regardless of the fact that we already know his gender.  The day of the ultrasound was...how to put it? Surreal I think.  I was most excited to see this little one. To see the heart beating.  To see all the right parts in the right places.  To marvel at God's awesomeness, the little person growing inside of me.  I never did get overly anxious or excited to find out the gender and yet when it became obvious that our little one was a boy excitement filled my heart.  There was an increase to the connection that I feel with him.   Gender specific dreams have filled my heart for him.  My prayers for him are more specific.  It is incredible really.  I had no idea that it would feel like this.  So there you have it...we are having a boy and I am thrilled to know that he is a he.
The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him- 
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of power, 
the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord- 
and he will delight in the fear of the Lord.
He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes;
or decide by what he hears with his ears;
but with righteousness he will judge the needy,
with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.
He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth;
with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.
Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash around his
waist. Isaiah 11:2-5

Rhea Lou

Rhea Lou was born on her due date (who knew that actually ever happened anyway?) at 6:30 p.m. weighing 7 pounds, 2 ounces and 19 and a half inches long! She is BEAUTIFUL...and I am not just saying that because I am a proud Auntie!  Mama and the sweet girl are doing well!
I had the privilege of assisting Kate as she labored for a few hours and I am just in awe.  Katie did awesome and I am so amazed by the power in a woman to labor and deliver precious little babies into this world.  It is such a miracle...the whole process.  I witnessed amazing strength and courage in my sister today and I am so incredibly proud of her!

Jude was quite smitten with Miss Rhea.  (but who wasn't?) He really wanted to hold her but he settled for a little kiss on the top of her head.  I simply can not wait for him to meet his baby brother/sister! Kylee has yet to meet her newest cousin as she was on a date with her daddy, attending her first Father/Daughter dance.  I have no doubt she will be quite taken by Rhea as well.  I am now more anxious for the arrival for own little one.  I love the experience of labor and delivery.  Maybe that sounds crazy to some but even though it is painful and hard and kind of scary the reality of when you hold that precious one in your arms is just so incredible...one of the most incredible blessings I will ever know on this earth.

Hey Batter, Batter...

We are so excited...so ready for the sunshine!  Mother's Day weekend we spent our days playing at the park, in the back yard, at the ball field, at the river...in the SUN! It was wonderful and we long for summer to begin!  I look at this picture and wonder how in the world Jude got so big.  I am so excited for all the fun he will experience this summer now that he is a big boy.  And check out that catcher back there! Isn't she awesome?
So fun!

Praise

I read something today in Focus on the Family Thriving Family (pg. 11 if you have it) that tugged on my heart.  The well-worn advice to "praise in public, criticize in private" is particularly applicable to children, who can be profoundly affected by what they hear said about themselves in the presence of others. -from the Complete Guide to Baby and Child Care by Dr. Paul c. Reisser.

There were some examples that simply melted  my heart.  Granted, I  have a whole lot of pregnancy hormones that add to my sensitivity but it was such a wonderful reminder of how our words affect people...especially our little people.  I know that I can find more opportunities to praise my children in public!  I was also convicted by the fact that in comfortable situations with friends or at a family members house where I am more distracted that I am less likely to pull the kids aside to talk to them about misbehavior or things that are inappropriate. Instead I call out to them and have that conversation for everyone to hear...or perhaps even worse, I share a few words that show my disapproval without any follow up in attempt to stop the unwanted behavior.  I shudder to think how my words and actions impact them in those moments.  Proverbs 12:25 says that an anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. May the Lord fill my heart and mind with kind words for my children...that I wouldn't make them anxious but that I will continually build them up! I praise God for the good things he has done.  My children know they are loved...I just want to do it better and 110% of the time.

Some Days

Do you ever have days where you just feel like you can't get it right? Parenting is HARD work.  These last few weeks have been challenging in our home.  Challenging for me.  There are a lot of if onlies...if only I felt better, if only I had more energy, if only it weren't raining, if only I didn't say no, stop, please pick it up, don't hit your brother/sister, get back in your bed, no, stop, all a million times a day.
It is a bit overwhelming.  My goal is to focus more on the joy. the laughter. the kisses. the hugs. the snuggles. story time. their inquisitiveness. playing baseball. playing soccer. potato bugs. wrestling.  All the good stuff.  Soak it up.

Eli, Grace, Dumptruck, Skeeta or Wrestler

Here are a few of our most current name ideas from Kylee and Jude.  Kylee likes Eli for a boy because it is a lot like Elias (big surprise), Grace for a girl and now apparently Dumptruck is another boy name in the running because, and I quote, "it might be a boy that wants to be a worker boy."  Jude's names are just as telling...Skeeta for a girl because he is really good at just making up words and then Wrestler for a boy because naturally he will want to wrestle.
So much fun!

New And Exciting Developments

I can't describe the joy I felt when we shared the news with Kylee and Jude that we are going to have another baby.  The look on Kylee's face was priceless.  Jude looked a bit confused...but soon caught on and began cheering right along with his sister.  We are having so much fun learning about the development of the baby.  Both Kylee and Jude are full of questions.   We had been praying for twins but ultrasounds confirm there is only one in there.  When I told Jude there is only one his response made me laugh, "No, two or none!"  Kylee was the one that started the twin dreams as it suited her better to have a girl for her and a boy for Jude.  Now she is holding out for a girl.  Daddy and I really don't have a preference...well I guess truth be told Kyle wants a boy.  I too would love another boy, but I think another baby girl would be just as wonderful.  
Our little one is due mid October- that is lots of sleeps from now!!!

The Newest Edition

We got to meet the newest edition to the family...and I have to say we are all quite smitten with this precious little girl!  Kylee is a proud big cousin to Sanchai & Natalies sweet baby girl, Kallie.  She is beautiful and healthy and we are all so excited and blessed to have finally met her and kissed her sweet face!  Kylee finally got the nerve to ask her Aunt Natalie if she could hold her and when I told her it was Daddy's turn she asked, "When he is done can I hold her the rest of the time because I am really not done holding her."  This little baby girl is certainly not going to be lacking love and attention! 

Jude is 3!

He is 3! He is a BIG boy now! Just ask him and he will tell you! This awesome little boy...er, I mean BIG boy, has taught me so much in the last three years.

Through him I have come to understand just how fragile life is. With two hospitalizations in his first 11 months of life I came to understand unequivocally that God is in control. He is faithful to see us through. He answers prayer. I remember being in the doctors office and being told that Jude needed to be taken by ambulance to Mary Bridge. The fear that came over me was more intense than any I have experienced in my life thus far. This is my little boy. It is my job to protect him, keep him safe, keep him healthy. I had failed and worse yet I had no knowledge of how to help him. I couldn't fix him. Then the nurse grabbed my hand and said that we needed to pray. An overwhelming peace came over me in that instant. God. God loves Jude even more than I do. As that nurse prayed over my little one and me I felt God's presence. I KNEW God was with us. That gave me immeasurable peace.

Jude has an insatiable appetite for physical contact and activity. He loves to wrestle. He loves football, basketball, soccer ball...well anything that includes a ball really. He loves to climb, jump and tackle. The other day I watched as he was formulating a plan to climb to the top of the refrigerator....Mt. Everest in his 3 year old mind to be sure! He is a boy and I am learning how to let him be a boy...encourage him to be one even. It isn't easy for this mama but then I remember that though he is my son God is alive and active with a plan for Jude's life. So I will do all I can to let him be that boy.
Jude has this sense of humor and these facial expressions and hand movements that accompany his goofiness that just gets me. My heart often melts into puddles at my feet. He gets some words wrong and the associations come out of no where and it cracks me up. For instance he once told Kyle (out of the blue) that if he or sissy gets lost they just need to go to the Olive Gardens. Kyle couldn't figure out what he was trying to say. It was Kylee who figured out that he was talking about our trip to The Great Wolf Lodge where he was instructed if he should get lost to go the Lifeguard. Olive Garden is close I guess? Instead of saying shut up he says shut off. Now, just so you know we don't allow him to say this but I have to admit that I am laughing inside each time I have heard it come out of his mouth. It is such a joy to be this boys mama!
Jude is learning to be a protector. He loves his sister....and then sometimes he doesn't love her so well but he is learning. He watches out for her and consistently shares his booty with her. It isn't often that if he is receiving a piece of candy or some such treasured item that he doesn't request one for his sister too. I have seen him shove said treasure in his mouth before it reaches her hand...but that is the exception.
Jude loves his daddy. He wants to do everything that daddy does. The other day Kyle was working outside and Jude went upstairs to get his "work clothes" on and his tool kit. He made his way outside and worked right along side his daddy. It was adorable.
Jude is really into muscles. Having big muscles is apparently the thing right now. We talk a lot about eating good foods so that our bodies can be strong and healthy. The other day I wanted to Jude to finish his fruit smoothie and I told him that it would help his muscles get big like daddy's. This was all the motivation he needed to scamper back to the table but as he was going he told me, "My muscles are already big like daddy's but I'm gonna make them bigger!" Those big blue eyes were sparkling with the thought.
Jude is learning about Jesus. When he gets a cut or scrape he is always quick to respond, "God will heal it." He is inquisitive. He is sensitive. He is bold and unafraid. He is tender. He is sweet. He is rough and tough. He is 3! Happy Birthday Jude Robert!
Mercy, Peace and Love be yours in abundance! Jude 1:2

2009 in Review

2009 was an amazing year for our family!
Starting with Kyle....who completed his 3rd year of teaching Science, a Masters degree in administration of education, and an internship as an assistant principal. It has been a busy year to say the least.
Kylee celebrated her 4th birthday and has grown so much in the last year. She is learning to read and has a very mathematical mind. She experienced her first ballet recital, soccer season and a second set of stitches.
Jude spent 2009 as a 2 year old learning to talk, climb (anything and everything) wrestle, play ball, in short, showing his mama what it means to be a BOY. a BIG BOY.
So my year was spent keeping up with these three. It is an amazing priveledge to be wife and mommy to these precious ones.
One of the highlights of our year, besides Kyle's amazing opportunity at work, was going to Hawaii to witness and celebrate the marriage of Sanchai and Natalie, Kyle's brother and his bride. Another highlight was training for and completing a Half Marathon on San Juan Island. One other oppurtunity that 2009 brought was the chance for me to participate in the Breast Cancer 3 day...walking 20 miles a day alongside some amazing people for a wonderful cause. It was certainly one of the most incredible things I have done.
And as if that weren't enough we spent another year with amazing friends and family. Truly blessed we are! We look forward to seeing what 2010 brings! We hope that your 2010 is blessed.